Two Hundred More

(I came here this evening and this post took me totally by surprise. Then I remembered, as you might, that back at the end of July, when my internet was working only sporadically, I tried to pre-schedule a post for August 1st, but set it for the 31st instead. This is it….) 

WordPress celebrates its 200th topic suggestion by asking what would you like 200 more of?

It helpfully points out that this is not as easy as it might look. “You may love your car,” it says, “but would you really like 200 more of them?” This certainly gives chastening pause for thought to the many of us who were going to write down that very answer (I might still go for it, since I would surely be able to find at least one set of car-keys when I was in a hurry to be somewhere).

It then says “you may like to be smarter than your friends, but would you really like to be 200 times smarter?”

This suggestion reveals more about what WordPress thinks of its friends than it possibly intended to. In any case I find it somewhat baffling. 200 of what, exactly, would make me 200 times smarter than my friends? If I got 200 more, er, Intelligence Quotients this would bring my IQ up to say 330 (don’t know exactly what it is now, don’t care). This would probably make my brain sizzle and spark and make my head practically translucent, it would make me the giant that other intellectuals stand upon the shoulders of, but it wouldn’t make me 200 times cleverer, since IQ scores are not exponential, as far as I know. 200 more brain cells, again as far as I know, would make sod-all difference to my overall intelligence.

I could have 200 more brains, but only if I kept them in jars upon shelves, and late night TV viewing leads me to believe that such scenarios usually end with a crocodile of villagers making their way up the hill toward your house armed with pitchforks and flaming torches.

Mention of giants earlier leads me to the thought that another 200 inches (in height I mean, behave) would add 16’8”, bringing me to 22’1”. This would make me unpopular at the cinema, struggle for suitable clothing (I’d have to wear a circus big-top as a sombrero) and totally unable to drive unless I tied my 201 cars together and steered from the back one.

200 more Euro a week would be nice but would not be life-changing. 200 more coffees a week might be, though, since my pacemaker would probably burst into flames.

If I got two more hundreds in my hundreds and thousands, would I simply end up with thousands and thousands?

In the end I’d settle for two hundred more useful topic suggestions from WordPress. And whether 200 times smarter or not, I am well aware that there are two ways of looking at that sentence.

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11 thoughts on “Two Hundred More

  1. Tinman Post author

    I hope they know more about DIY and things like that than I do. If each of them came with their own lawnmower that too would be handy.

    Reply

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