The Future is Coming

Make a prediction about life in 2021, asks WordPress
  • The word “ohmygod” will be officially recognised in the Oxford English Dictionary.
  • A house will cost €4000, but no-one will be able to afford one.
  • Films will be available in 4D. As the fourth dimension is time, this means that if ten years pass during the story you will come out of the cinema ten years older.
  • Do not watch Demolition Man in 4D.
  • Ryan Giggs, then aged 47, will sign a further one-year contract with Manchester United.
  • Twitter will have a shorter version, Twit, with a maximum of 20 characters, 10 of which will be !!!!!!!!!!
  • In the event of an emergency Ryanair will have a €50 charge for sliding down that rubber chute (I’d pay it, too, it looks like fun).
  • Gillette’s new razor will have 11 blades.
  • Walkers Crisps will bring out a range of retro flavours such as cheese-and-onion and salt-and-vinegar.
  • There will only be three people left on the planet who have never been contestants on the X-Factor, and they are the three judges.
  • After four-door cars and five-door cars, there will be six-door cars. The sixth door will be in the floor, so that you can stick your feet out and drive a la Fred Flintstone, because
  • Petrol will be €400 a litre, because
  • People will still not have financed my invention of a car that runs on baby-sick, a never-ending resource.
  • Boyzone, now all in their 40s, will be forced to change their name under the Trade Descriptions Act.
  • Their latest song will be one of those featured on Now That’s What I Call Music 492.
  • When pacemakers came out first they were the size of hockey pucks. My current one is the size of a cigarette lighter. My next one, due in about eight years, will be the size of a button, but will run on a nuclear battery powerful enough to reduce County Wicklow to dust if I burp.
  • Fizzy drinks will be banned in County Wicklow.
  • As all the seas are toxic and fish are poisonous it will be permissible to eat meat on Fridays, according to Pope Laura.
  • A hideously-aged portrait of Cliff Richard will be discovered in his attic.
  • The investigation into fraud at Anglo Irish Bank will be ongoing.
  • Having got smaller and smaller through the 80s and 90s and then bigger and bigger as more functions were added, the mobile phone will now be the size it was in 1984.
  • At a press conference it will be announced that Karaoke, Wii Fit and Super Mario Brothers will all be recognised sports in the 2024 Olympics.
  • The TV programmes on Dave will have reached 2002
  • Bloggers will be venerated, and will be invited to give blog readings, for being able to write articles of more than 500 words.
  • Lady Gaga, having been decorated by the Queen (yes, the same one, her mum lived to be 102 after all) for services to music, will now be know as Lady Lady Gaga.
  • Kylie will be 49, and will still have a great bum.

10 thoughts on “The Future is Coming

  1. nrhatch

    Let’s hope you’re right . . . I’m not convinced that we will still be here in 10 years time.

    OMG . . . I’ll “Twit” to that!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Pingback: A Discordant H.A.A.R.P. « Spirit Lights The Way

  3. laughykate

    My prediction: there will be an umbrella that you will be able to fly with. (I would really like to think all those hours spent jumping off the fence in a howling Southerly with an umbrella in my hand didn’t go to waste).

  4. Grannymar

    Did you predict that I would still be around in 2021? I hope so. Great post. Next time I am stuck for ideas , I’ll come pick your brains!


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