Tag Archives: shaving

Nick of Time

The problem with having just one hair that grows at the top of your left earlobe, just where it joins your face, is that when it gets too long you have to try and shave it.

The problem with shaving anything is that it occasionally goes wrong.

The problem with turning up in public with a big cut on your ear is that, since it is impossible to think of any plausible lie, you must to tell your friends openly that you cut yourself shaving, and hope they won’t laugh.

The problem with hoping this is that you will be disappointed.

Trust me on this.

Shaving It Close

Once upon a time (way back in the last millenium, when the world was in black-and-white), razors came with one blade. Then someone invented the two blade razor, then the three, and at the moment the best one available has five.

This contest between Gillette and Wilkinson Sword, creeping up one blade at a time, reminds me of the way Yelena Isinbayeva has set the last 12 world records in pole-vaulting. Though she could probably clear the bar by about a foot, she just keeps raising it by one centimetre at a time.

I think it’s time one of the companies upped their game to try and finish the opposition for good. After all, face-shaving is a macho thing, and the product should reflect that.

“New, from Gillette – the RazorBurn!! Are you man enough? Is your stubble tough enough? Only a Flame-thrower could do a better job! Fourteen blades at the front, four more at the back, to leave your skin feeling like a Baby with a Brazilian!”

No need to thank me, Gillette.

And no, this post is not simply so that I can put up a picture of Yelena Isinbayeva.

Though here’s another one.

Just in case you don’t know who I’m talking about.