Tag Archives: put-downs

Dying to tell you what I think of you

A friend of mine told me last night in my local about a Death Notice that appeared in Tuesday’s Irish Times, so I looked it up on online this morning. It concerned a lady from Dun Laoghaire, and gave the standard details, naming her late husband and her children, giving funeral arrangements, and asking for donations to the R.N.L.I.

And then it said this:

“Those she did not talk to
please do not attend”

Exactly like that – in italics, on two lines, as if it were a quotation from a poem or something. I thought it might be a very, very obscure religious reference – something along the lines of  “I had no truck with thee while I lived, Satan, so keep thee far from me now”, but I’ve googled it, and come up with nothing.

So it can only be the ultimate “Up Yours”. She’s saying “I don’t want any of ye I couldn’t stand turning up for free tea and sandwiches – yiz all know well who I mean”.

If you don’t believe in ghosts, then saying someting like that in your obituary notice is as near as you can get to haunting people.

I didn’t know you were allowed do it, but it might really catch on – “Mary Smith, died Tuesday, funeral Thursday, Bessie Perkins from No 23 is a cow”.

And just think, we virtual people could all do it – we could flame other bloggers, from beyond the grave.