The Irish Blog Awards came to an end last year, but they have been replaced by Blog Awards Ireland (and a genuine, sincere thank you to Lorna, Beatrice and Amanda, who are organising them), and the awards night will take place in October.
There are 29 categories and I have been nominated in not one but two of them, so you can imagine how I feel.
There are 27 categories for which my blog is not deemed good enough.
Some of them are fair enough. I can make no claim to the Best Corporate Blog, or Best Group Blog, or Best Podcast Blog. I accept that I do not qualify for Best Youth Blog, though I would ask why there is no equivalent Best 54-Year-Old’s Blog. I am willing to concede the Best Technology Blog to people who actually know technical stuff, and Best Blog In The Irish Language to, well, someone who writes in the Irish Language.
But some of the other categories fit this Blog like a glove (though gloves are so last year – see, I should be in the Beauty/Fashion section) and here I make a final plea to the organisers to consider my late inclusion in them.
Best Food/Drink Blog. In these annals I have described porridge as 74% greyness and 26% lumps, and have written that Guinness is watery shite that gives you watery shite. Has Delia Smith ever written anything so pithy? (See, food puns and everything).
Best Photography Blog. This is an actual photo from my blog, taken at a Coldplay concert.
A picture says a thousand words. I think that one says everything.
Best Popculture Blog. Ok, they can have this one, since I have no idea what that means.
Best Newcomer Blog. Since these are new awards, in a sense we are all newcomers. Weak, I know, but logically flawless.
Best Health/Wellbeing Blog. Oh, come on. I’ve written here about my depression, my derealisation, my blackouts, my pacemaker and the day I had to go home from work because I had a headache. Nobody said it had to be good health.
Best Blog By a Journalist. Oh. Wait a minute, though, nobody knows who I am. For all they know I could be Irish Times Journalist Fintan O’Toole.
Best Political Blog. Or Barrack Obama.
Best Mobile Compatible Blog. I’m not sure I get this one. I will say, though, that my blog is available on mobile things like laptops, iPhones and anything else on which you can pick up the internet, which seems these days to include electric razors and the shiny side of a mirror. My blog is also available in mobile homes, if you have Wi-Fi.
Best Overall Blog. I don’t actually blog in my overalls (preferring instead a grey fedora and a floral chintz housecoat) but unless they’re Skyping me on that camera-thingy on the top of my screen they’re not going to know that.
Finally, Best Blog Post. If they fall for any of this then I think this post is a shoo-in.