If you finish a post with the sentence “things are pretty bad when even spammers think you write crap” and then don’t publish anything for five days it makes you look just a little bit thin-skinned.
My absence has not been due to negative reviews, but to negative sleep.
The eleven day Christmas break has messed with my sleep patterns, and has left me with just two. In one of them I fall asleep at nine, wake at midnight and lie awake for the rest of the night. In the other I don’t fall asleep until two and then wake at five. The mathematics of each pattern is the same – for the past week I have been surviving on three hours sleep per night.
Surviving is a relative term. I have been surviving in the same way that zombies do – not eating brains, of course, but lurching slowly about and having unruly hair.
In such circumstances writing anything even remotely funny is difficult. Writing one’s own name is difficult.
On the bus home yesterday I turned on my laptop, then decided that I just couldn’t be bothered. I had to wait for it to finish starting up, of course, before I could close it down, the guy sitting beside me must have thought that I was trying a variant on “have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again”.
Having spent yesterday at work with the attention span of a goldfish and the inner rage of a goldfish (wouldn’t you be pissed off at being stuck in a small round bowl?) I set about changing things. I sat reading until 9.30 last night, swore to myself that no matter what I would not get up until my alarm clock (brief interlude – thank God I read this post back, the last word originally said something else) went off, and I managed to sleep for eight hours. I did wake on several occasions, but only for a couple of seconds, and that’s as close as I ever get to a full night’s sleep anyway.
So I’m back. It’s 7.15 as I write this on the bus and I feel rested and content. I have no ideas for posts for the rest of the week, but I promise I will think of something.
Otherwise I’m just going to start copying and pasting my spam comments.