Weekly Photo Challenge: Green

The WordPress Photo Challenge as taken on by a man with no camera…

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The doors hissed open and a ramp slid to the ground, and onto the surface of Earth came Garro (yes, he slid down the ramp, wouldn’t you?), a wide-eyed, green-skinned stereotype from the planet Yarrt.

The atmosphere was breathable, if rank. Unbeknownst to Garro he had landed in Ireland in mid-summer, and the air smelled of damp, due to the summer rain, and of burnt sausage, due to the Irish refusal to admit that we do not have Australia’s climate and our consequent determination hold a barbecue every weekend.

The vegetation was tall, thick and jungle-like. Garro cut his way through it with his laser-gun, all the while keeping an eye out for humans. He was looking for a pink, narrow-eyed, hair-topped creature, because Yarrtans believe in stereotypes too.

This is why he didn’t notice the Earthling until he walked right into him.

Garro stared at the creature in wonder. The word “wow” came to his mind, along with the word “eeuww”. Humans were not a pretty sight.

But there was worse. They were green, they had huge eyes, they had long, narrow legs. Just like Yarrtans, in fact, and Garro could think of only one explanation. At some stage in the long distant past Earth had visited Yarrt and, by the look of it, visited its women in particular.

There was one major difference. Yarrtans had never heard of McDonalds, of beer or of deep-fried Mars bars, and so were universally thin. The earthling, who seemed to have no neck, so that his face seemed part of his torso, was not.

The thought that Garro was descended from these beings filled him with horror, though not as much as the thought that his people might be just a few steps behind on the same evolutionary path.

Still, Garro was there to make First Contact and he was determined to do so, even if the point of that first contact was a creature who made Buddha (if the Gods exist then they obviously do so on every planet, so of course he knew who Buddha was) look like Victoria Beckham (let’s face it, he’d have heard of the Beckhams too). Bravely he stepped forward.

“Greetings, Earthling!”, he said. “Take me to your leader.”

“Ribbit,” said the frog.

When people hear the term “little green men” it’s always the second word that they focus on, and don’t pay enough attention to the first.

Yarrtans are only one foot tall.

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