Winging It

Tonight’s Writers Group prompt, overheard on a train by one of us, was “we’re going to hear about the angel thing later”…
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“We’re going to hear about the angel thing later,” said Gabriel.

“What’s the angel thing?” asked St Patrick.

“It’s an idea Gabriel has,” said St Peter. “It would mean we wouldn’t have to hang around like this.”

The three of them were, indeed, hanging around. Each of them was dangling from a cloud by the kind of apparatus later made famous by Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible.

This was the one big flaw about Heaven – it was up in the sky.

Not every one went for their approach. Some had attached wicker-baskets below the clouds. Some tethered themselves to the pearly gates, and went about their heavenly business in small circles. Some hung from a cloud by a long piece of string, like a child bought too many balloons at a fair. Some, mainly the young cool ones, rode the air-currents, the ultimate in wind-surfing.

Every now and then someone would make a mistake. Just the previous week St Felixbaumgartner had slipped and plummeted at astonishing speed to earth, in the process breaking the sound barrier and four-hundred and thirty-seven bones. Since he was a celestial being this didn’t matter, of course, and he was back hanging from his cloud thirty seconds later.

“Gabriel’s idea,” said Peter, “is that we become something called an angel.”

“Where does that name come from?” asked Patrick.

“From the Angelus,” said Gabriel. “It’s a kind of church version of a cuckoo clock, which is where I got the idea – we could have wings, like a cuckoo. We’d be able to hover in the clouds, instead of dangling from them.”

“That’d be great,” said Patrick. “It’d mean we’d be able to use our hands to play our harps, instead of plucking at them with our toes.”

“Gabriel’s done up a proposal,” said Peter, “and he’s sent it to God. We should hear about it later.”

The three hung around for what seemed like an eternity, and indeed might well have been, before Gabriel’s iPhone7 (this is Heaven, remember) rang. Gabriel listened, then turned to the others.

“He says yes,” he said.

“Thank God,” said Peter.

“Peter says thanks,” said Gabriel into his phone.

“Listen,” said Patrick, “while you have him on, tell him I have this idea for something called ‘trousers’. The wind up here is hellish sometimes.”

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6 thoughts on “Winging It

  1. Janie Jones

    It’s a miracle! St Felixbaumgartner broke four-hundred and thirty-seven bones, quite an unearthly achievement considering the average adult human body only contains 206.

    Reply

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