A Bit Of The Other

The challenge at Saturday’s Irish Writers Centre Workshop was called “Fifty Shades of Oh Please NO, no sex! I’m Irish!”. The idea was to write about desire, and sex, without mentioning sex.
Those of you who come here regularly are probably dreading what’s to follow…

She had lovely melons.

That had been the first thing that he had noticed when he saw her at her stall at the Farmers’ Market. As well as her melons, she had great buns. He stared at her and felt a stirring at waist level, near where his striploins were. They were on a little shelf in front of him, because his butcher’s stall was next to hers.

She noticed him looking at her, since men lack subtlety in these things.

“Cucumber?” she asked.

“Er, what?”

“I said, would you like to try some of my cucumber?”

She didn’t normally offer her wares free, but she felt strangely drawn to this man. He had strawberry-blond hair, and she grew strawberries. Some people, of course, would have called him ginger and that was fine too, she used it in her baking.

She looked at his body. His biceps were well-developed from wielding his chopper, his legs were strong and firm from chasing escaped cows, and his abs were rock-solid, because he went to the gym three times a week.

And besides, if you can’t have a man in uniform then a man in an apron is the next best thing.

And he knew that she was hot since she had just had to bring her box over from her van.

Whenever business was slow they would chat. And over the weeks they got to know each other better. He learned to his delight that she was great with her hands, as she practiced both knitting and crochet. She discovered to her surprise (and delight) that he knew twenty-two positions, vacant ones at various Farmers’ Markets around the county.

Eventually they became partners. It was a relationship made in heaven. She was a grower, he was a butcher, and between them they could produce the most impressive meat and two veg you have ever seen.


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