Weekly Photo Challenge: Wrong

Still no camera, still taking on the Challenge….

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Ugg and his wife Ogga had been standing, four-footed, watching while fellow villager Argh had tried to pick an apple from a tree. He had stretched one front paw up, up, to no avail. Chastened, he turned and trudged away from the tree.

Then he stopped, as if an idea had come to him. He turned back towards the tree, and raised himself onto his two back legs. He tottered, teetered, wobbled. He sat down suddenly on his bum, but stood back up again.

“Now that’s just wrong,” said Ugg.

What happened next astonished them. Argh put one back leg in front of the other, then repeated the move. His gait was part trapeze artist, part Riverdance, but he was moving forward, right to the base of the tree.

For the first time ever, man was walking on two legs.

He picked an apple. Then a higher one. Then a higher one still, and began to juggle them in his two front-paws. He moon-walked. He tap-danced. He flicked a round rock up into the air with his  right foot, and then volleyed it into a nearby bush. He hopped around in pain for a while after this, effectively now walking on just one foot.

“Now that’s just showing off,” said Ugg.

“There’s a lot to be said for it,” said Ogga. “Look at how he can reach high things. You should try it. You could put up shelves in our cave.”

“What are shelves?”

“Don’t know, really,” said Ogga. “I just know that I am genetically disposed to want them.”

Argh turned away from the tree and they could see what could no longer be called his underside.

“Yuck!” said Ugg. “You can see his nipples!”

“And his thing,” said Ogga, a little too admiringly for Ugg’s liking. The scornful retort that he began, however, was drowned out by a fearsome roar.

A wild boar, head down, was charging towards Argh.

“Now he’s in trouble,” said Ugg. “He won’t be able to run as fast on two legs.”

Argh looked around, armed (if that’s the word) himself with a stick, and as the boar approached, whacked him across the head with it. The boar fled.

Ogga whooped with glee. “That’s it,” she said, “I’m giving it a go.”

“As your husband, I forbid it,” said Ugg.

“Yeah, right,” snorted Ogga. She raised herself onto her two hind legs, and took a few practice steps. “I’m going back to the cave,” she said. “Coming?”

Ugg watched her walk away. She was doing the same thing that Argh had done, but somehow it was different. Her hips seemed to move from side to side, and her bum swayed in a strange yet alluring way.

It’s still wrong, thought Ugg, getting to his feet to follow her, but somehow it didn’t matter to him anymore.

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