Weekly Photo Challenge: Growth

Yet again the man with no camera takes on the WordPress Photo Challenge, with words….

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“What sort of a growth?” asked the vet.

“It’s red, and it’s on his nose.”

“Perhaps it’s a pimple,” suggested the vet.

“What?” said Santa. “Do you mean this is puberty?”

“Could be,” said the vet.

“So you’re saying he’s going to start chasing after girl reindeers, like Vixen, and being cheeky to Mrs Claus and me, and his voice is going to suddenly drop, along with other bits of him?”

“I don‘t think reindeers have voices,” said the vet.

“The others certainly do,” said Santa. “They laugh and call him names.”

“What names?”

“Um, don’t know really,” said Santa. “”Redser,” I suppose.”

“Nah, that’s for gingers,” said the vet. “Perhaps it’s sunburn.”

“This is the North Pole,” said Santa icily, appropriately enough.

“Look, to be honest,” said the vet, “I’m more used to putting funnels on dogs’ heads, or guessing whether a tortoise is dead or not. All I can suggest is to leave it a few days and see if it gets better.”

It was two nights later, on a foggy Christmas Eve, when the vet’s phone rang.

“It’s starting to glow,” said Santa‘s panicky voice. The vet sighed. He was beginning to regret asking for a phone from, well, Santa.

“Maybe it’s just shiny,” said the vet.

“No,” said Santa. “If you came and saw it, even you would say it glows.”

“Well, I can’t come now,” said the vet. “I have to stick my legs into the back of a horse.”

“Wow,” said Santa, “what sort of procedure is that?”

“It’s not one, I’m playing the rear half of the horse in the village pantomime.”

“So what will I do?” wailed Santa.

“Don’t know,” said the vet. “Use him to read by, or something.”

“Use him to – wait a minute, I’ve got it! Doc, you’re a genius.” The phone went dead.

The following morning the vet rang Santa. “How did last night go?” he asked.

“Good and bad,” said Santa. “I used him to guide my sleigh, and was doing my route faster than I’ve ever done it before. Then I got pulled in by the cops.”

“What for?”

“Driving without a tail-light.”