Another week in which a man whose camera-phone is no longer working refuses to accept that the Weekly Photo Challenge might not be for him…
Some of you will remember the comic the Beano, and will remember the Numskulls, a group of tiny boffins who ran the various Departments of someone’s head. We thought of them simply as a cartoon strip for the entertainment of children, but suppose they really exist? It’s no sillier than the idea that all of our thoughts, emotions and intelligence come from electrical impulses, and that our personality depends whether we are left-brained rather than right.
Perhaps they have been with you since the second you were born and gave that first cry, when the Mouth Department cranked open its double doors and blew loudly into a set of bagpipes.
Since then they have yanked out your first tooth, applied curlers to your first lock of hair, produced the dribble to smear over your first toy.
They have learned with you, the Brain Department trying to make sense of Periodic Tables, Venn diagrams and the plume of ma tante. A lesson on the facts of life filled with them with horror on behalf of the Numbits further down.
They clear specks of dust from your eyes by pouring buckets of water out of your pupils, washing the windows of your soul. They use laughing-gas to make you laugh, sleeping-gas to make you sleep, and marsh-gas to make you fart.
They make ear-wax, though heaven knows why, perhaps they have shares in the cotton-bud industry.
In other words they ensure the smooth running of your ears, your eyes, your brain.
They ensure the running of your nose, too, by trickling treacle down it. If they are feeling especially mischievous they will roll their floor-sweepings into a round ball, dust it with gunpowder, ram it into the torpedo-tube of your nostril, and ignite it.
When you are asleep the Forehead Department sneaks out to paint wrinkles on your forehead.
When you are hungover they get hungover too, so they take it out on you. The Mouth Department rolls out a carpet along your tongue, the Ear Department turns its controls up full so that every sound is as loud as thunder, while the Brain Department bangs on the inside of your skull with a large wooden mallet.
You often hear the expression “playing with someone‘s head“. Perhaps that’s what the Numskulls are doing with ours.