Sidey’s Weekend Theme is “social media”…
The smoke arose in cushion-like black puffs, some large, some small. Gradually they formed a tower of small clouds, visible for miles.
General Custer sighed.
“What’s that?” asked his lieutenant, Captain Jones, recently promoted from sergeant in a blaze of illogical ranking.
“It’s called a b-log,” said Custer, “because it’s caused by burning logs. This one’s by a guy called Metal Heart Throb.”
“What’s he saying?”
“He’s telling the whole world that he intends drinking firewater this evening with his son, Plays With Atoms,” said Custer.
“Like anyone cares,” said Jones.
“You’d think,” said Custer. “But just watch.”
A few seconds later, from hills all around them, eight little towers of smoke began to rise. One little ball, in a miraculous feat of blanket-waving, formed itself into a smiley face .
“What are they?”
“His commenters,” said Custer. “They all come to tell him how great he is. In fact, he’s more popular than Big Chief Step Hen Fry.”
Another column appeared, this one of ragged wispy smoke, drifting aimlessly.
“What does that one say?” asked Jones.
“It says,”It in fact was an amusing account it, look advanced to far added agreeable from you,”” said Custer. “It’s from someone called Lurid Pink Meat, everyone ignores him.”
“But the rest of them,” he went on, “are She Who Laughs, From Home Of Cross Aunt, She Who Laughs From Upside Down Land, Small Flat Cake, Mother’s Mother With Toyboys, Looks Not From The Front, Internal Chromosome With Need To Travel. And Jo.”
“They’re all women,” said Custer, “or “Humans Whose Hips Sway In An Attractive Way,” as his people call them. They seem to love him, whereas I haven’t spoken to one since we met that Pocohantas back in that village two years ago.”
“The one who slapped your face and called you a Man Who Plays Alone?” said Jones.
“Er, yes,” said Custer. “Anyway, I’ve decided I’m going to try this b-logging. I’ll soon be more popular than this twit.”
“What will you call yourself?”
“I know what women want,” said Custer, who didn’t, since he lived exclusively with men. “I’m going to call myself Little Big Horn.”
It didn’t end well.