Different Lives

Sidey’s Weekend Theme is “an alternate reality”. I haven’t come up with a story for this yet (though in an alternate reality I have, of course, already written it) but I promise that I will, though when it might appear may stretch the definition of “weekend” about as far as it will go.

Because today is today, though, I want to write about alternate realities anyway.

In an alternate reality somewhere my heart is fine. I would not have gone through 18 months where my heart-rate would drop suddenly to zero causing me to drop suddenly to the ground, invariably hitting my head or face against radiators, corners of walls or any other hard surface available on the way down (though falling forward to the ground and having my face land on something soft would probably have involved dog-shit in some way, so on balance I came out of it pretty well).

Alternate Me does not have no feeling on the right side of my forehead and scar tissue on the left side that will not tan, though since I live in Ireland this is rarely a problem (though Alternate Me probably lives in Bali and is the colour of caramel).

One theory about my derealisation (which incidentally is really bad at the moment)  is that it started as a defence mechanism to protect my mind from the fear that must have been going on inside it during this time, while on the surface I was quite calm and even joking about it. If that was true then Alternate Me does not suffer from it, though we will give him depression since that started before any of the blackout episodes (in an alternate alternate reality there is a Me who doesn’t even suffer from that but we’re going to ignore this Me, since there is no way that I can get to him to punch him in the face).

To sum up, Alternate Me is as fit as a fiddle (why “fiddle”, by the way? As fit as a chair, or a lampshade, or the left-rear door of a Nissan Micra would make just as much sense), tanned and fully mentally alert. He is a smug , jammy git.

But is he a blogger? Or is he too busy running in-and-out through the X-Ray machines at airports just because he can? Would he have been able to think up a suitable blogname? Does he have blogger friends all over the world?

Does he have a Tinman tattoo on his arm? I think not.

My pacemaker is four years old today, and I’m happy with the life that it has given me.

8 thoughts on “Different Lives

  1. viv blake

    I sympathise with this – having gone through a similar patch myself, though without the pacemaker. What I’ve always wanted to know is:: if you can’t go through the security thingy, do they strip-search you?

    “Fiddle’ here is of course the colloquial name for violin. ‘Fit’ didn’t originally mean healthy and energetic, in the sense it is often used nowadays to describe the inhabitants of gyms. Nor does it mean handsome! When this phrase was coined ‘fit’ was used to mean ‘suitable, seemly’, in the way we now might say ‘fit for purpose’.” I paraphrase from http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/40250.html.

    1. Tinman Post author

      No, they pat you down all over, and sadly they get a member of the same sex to do it.
      I’ve had it done at Dublin, Waterford, Newcastle and Bordeaux, but last year when I went to JFK I reckoned I was going to get the most thorough one possible.

      And it was indeed pretty comprehensive, but then I went to the UN building in New York. Different league.

      1. vivinfrance

        Thanks Tin – I hope you didn’t think I was being rude. They keep talking about fitting me with an auricular debrilator, and I was imagining how I’d manage the – already stressful – business of flying. So far, heart rate is under cotrol by pills (lots of pills).

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