(For some reason the title vanished from this post, and for some other reason it has appeared under Recent Posts as “8250”, so why not go with it).
The official opening of our new offices took place on Monday, despite the fact that we have been happily working away there since August. Perhaps we’ve been squatting.
Anyway, the Minister for Jobs (yes, that’s his actual title, though the Minister for the Environment is not, sadly, known as the Rain-Man) made a speech pointing out that indigenous Irish companies like us were providing substantial employment and real hope for the recovery of our economy.
In fact he wasn’t there, the death of the mother of our Taoiseach (Prime Minister) meant that, understandably, he had to go to her funeral. The papers reported that he made the speech anyway, maybe his words sounded simultaneously inside all of their heads.
And speaking of simultaneousness, last Friday the desktop wallpaper on all of our machines turned simultaneously to green, our company colour, with the company name and logo in the centre. We also all acquired a white screensaver upon which the company name moves up and down the screen in a serious of jerks which make it look as if its being done by hand. It was very impressive that the Service Desk were able to do this, though ever since none of us have been able to use any application that needs Java to run it (listen to me, I sound as if I know stuff).
No doubt it was felt that this would look impressive to the clients and the Minister as he toured our offices. In fact it looks as if we have been assimilated by the Borg, which does at least give me the excuse to show yet another picture of Seven of Nine from Star Trek, and it reminds me of the series “V”, in which alien leader Anna is able to appear on every TV and computer screen everywhere in the world whenever she wishes to address us.
Anyway, after the speeches a piece of green ribbon was tied across the doors and the boss cut it. A small group of employees were told to stand behind him and cheer as he did this, including one impossibly handsome staff member who would have looked more impressive had the person next to him not been a foot taller.
The photo is now one of a series of pictures that appear in rotation on the LCD screen behind our reception desk. The interesting thing is that there are six people visible in the photo and by yesterday afternoon three of them were out sick, each with a different ailment.
In other words misfortune has befallen half (so far) of the people in the picture saying “welcome to our office”.
I call it the curse of “hello“.