Options

In my constituency of Wicklow there is a man who stands as an Independent candidate in every Local and General Election. He is self-employed and probably has a limited budget so his electoral campaigning each time consists of a small advert in the local paper showing his photograph and his policies, which are “no abortion – no water charges”.

Now this blog is too shallow a forum to discuss the merits or otherwise of his policies. I’m just struck every time by how divorced (another topic we won’t be covering here) from each other they are.

The reason I mention him here is because of a suggested WordPress topic from over the weekend: “would you rather read minds or live forever?”

Since I can’t read minds (and apparently therefore am going to live forever, indeed I’m going to learn how to fly) I can’t guess why WordPress chose such disparate options. The question “would you rather live forever or just to a ripe old age” might have been a thought-provoking one. The question “would you rather read minds or have X-Ray vision” might have been fun, though probably the sort of schoolboy fun that would be bound to mention the possibility of being able to see ladies in their underwear (well, I did say that this blog is shallow). But the two options above bear no relation to each other, and indeed if we’re willing to allow for their plausibility then there is no reason why they should be mutually exclusive. If they were going to pick options like these then here are some more suggestions for them:

Would you rather eat jam sandwiches or be able to speak Mandarin?
Would you rather sit in a chair or play the banjo?
Would you rather date Keira Knightly or have one foot larger than the other?
Would you rather travel by bus or be re-incarnated?
Would you rather be the colour magenta or the song Schools Out?
Would you rather visit the moon or smell lightly of jasmine?
Would you rather eat Maltesers or be Tilly Bud? (sorry if that fries your brain, Till).
Would you rather play in goal for Leyton Orient or have a dorsal fin?
Would you rather be able to see the future or sing opera?
Would you rather win the lottery or have a second head?
Would you rather be a brunette or Switzerland?
Would you rather I stopped now?