I Ate Freddy Starr’s Hamster

WordPress do not just suggest topics as part of their Post-a-Day campaign. They also offer tips to keep you going and to help improve your writing. In an article earlier this week the author said that the most important writing advice he ever got was “from now on you need to leave out every other sentence when you tell a story“. He then listed 33 other Unusual Tips to being a Better Writer, the first of which was “write whatever you want, then take out the first paragraph and the last paragraph”. The others were a very varied collection indeed, some of which I have listed for your benefit.

Let it sleep. Have a shocking title. Risk. Be Honest. Make people cry. Don’t ask for permission. Take a huge bowel movement every day. Don’t hurt anyone. Coffee. The last line needs to go Boom. Time heals all wounds.

The final tip repeats the advice to take out every other sentence, so this is obviously really important, along with the advice to leave out the first and last paragraph. I’ve decided to try it, so this post now reads as below.

Let it sleep. Risk. Make people cry. Take a huge bowel movement every day. Coffee. Time heals all wounds.

Perhaps this is how America used to write their lyrics. Anyway, I’ve read it over and I’m not really sure that it’s better. Oh, hang on, I know why.



8 thoughts on “I Ate Freddy Starr’s Hamster

  1. Janie Jones

    Interesting advice. I’m curious to know why taking a huge bowel movement every day will help one be a better writer. Although I can see how drinking a lot of coffee could facilitate that, and in turn that how that could make the people you share the facilities with cry. It’s risky, but if you sleep on it, you too can understand the wisdom of how time will heal all wounds; even the one’s caused by starship Captain’s encircling Uranus destroying Klingons. Buy cottony soft Charmin; those torpedos certainly go out with a bang. Or should I say “Boom.”

    I apologize. I just couldn’t help myself. After all, those suggestions just seemed like complete crap.

  2. Pingback: on tenterhooks | me, mine and other bits

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