Fairy Tale

While writing the draft of a post this morning, typing as always with the speed and elegance of a gazelle (and if you’ve ever seen a gazelle typing, you’ll know that’s not good) I left the letter ’l’ out of the word unfairly. Spellcheck drew its schoolmarmish squggly line under it and I corrected it, but not before it got me thinking.

It seems that there is no such word as “unfairy”.

So though priests can be unfrocked, friends can be unfriended and adults can be unadulterated, a fairy is a fairy for ever, for better or even for worse.

This means that Tinkerbell could knock back a bottle of vodka, punch the Easter Bunny solidly in the face (can you imagine how much the Tooth Fairy would have to pay for his two front teeth), get off with Santa Claus and then throw up noisily into the Genie‘s Lamp, and she would still be a fairy next morning. Admittedly she would feel absolutely dreadful, her head would be pixillated in fact, but at least she’d feel better than the Genie.

Remember this the next time you scoff at the idea of there being fairies at the bottom of your garden.
Upset them and they can kill off your roses, infest your lawn with Snotwort (if that‘s not a real weed name it should be) and do unspeakable things to your garden gnome’s fishing rod, safe in the knowledge that they can’t be unfairied.

It makes you wonder what Fairy Liquid is made of.


8 thoughts on “Fairy Tale

  1. Elaine

    This is an interesting concept – one that hadn’t occurred to me before. Those fairy folks (I include pixies, gnomes and elves here) can get away with murder it seems! As for Fairy Liquid – another thing I had not fully considered each time I use it – hmmm, probably best not to think too hard about where that comes from! 🙂

  2. laughykate

    Holy shitbags, you have SUCH a good point Tinman!

    I’ve never thought of that. Have you ever heard /read of Mother Tinkerbelle to Daughter Tinkerbelle after she knocked off a bottle of vodka, punched the Easter Bunny solidly in the face, got off with Santa Claus and then threw up noisily into the Genie‘s Lamp, ‘Now darling that’s not behaviour befitting of a fairy. If you carry on like that, we shall simply have to unfairy you and you shall take up the mantle of a skank.’

  3. kateshrewsday

    Tinkerbell was no angel, Tinman, you’ve got that right. Jealously, rage and betrayal were her stock in trade. I think you might have stumbled on the kind of concept which sparks a string of six big fat bestsellers.


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