Hidey Hole

WordPress asks which person, real or fictional, would I like to be stuck in a foxhole on a battlefield with.

“Foxhole” is one of the euphemisms that generals, safe in their headquarters, come up with to make war seem less hideous. “Collateral damage” sounds as if the building next door to your target has had its windows broken, rather than having everyone in it vapourised, and being shot by “friendly fire” sounds much more chummy and cosy than “being killed by your own side because the generals (still safe in their headquarters) are clueless morons”.

“Foxhole” sounds like something out of Brer Rabbit, whereas “a tiny dent in the earth which covers about half of you from the enemy’s view and in any case isn’t worth a shite if something shell-shaped drops in from above” sounds a bit dangerous.

Anyway, back to the question, which I know I should scornfully ignore, but I’m fascinated by the fact that they give you the option of choosing anyone “real or fictional”.

I’m wondering just how many people would pick Fred from next door over, say, Superman, who you could hide behind while the bullets simply bounced off him.

Harry Potter could weave a protective spell. Captain Picard could arrange for a force-field to be erected around the foxhole. Doctor Who could leave you in the same place but in a different time, one where there wasn’t a battle going on.

Super-fast Builder Man could turn up at the appointed time and rapidly construct a bunker for the quoted price without once stopping for a mug of tea (they did say we could use fictional characters).

All Fred has is a Bible in his breast pocket that will probably stop a bullet and save his life. It’s unlikely that he’ll lend it to you.

They say strong fences make good neighbours. Hopefully Fred will bring the fence with him.

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8 thoughts on “Hidey Hole

    1. Tinman Post author

      Well that’s really my attitude too, Nancy, there’s no way I’d ever find myself on a battlefield. Poor old Fred will be on his own.

      Reply
  1. adeeyoyo

    Bwahahaha, Tinman, you have no idea how much I wish I could write like you… Anyway, you’d have no need for a companion, ‘real or fictional’ as you could talk your merry way out of ANYTHING, be it a dent or foxhole! Excellent!

    Reply
  2. Inspiration to Dream

    I’ll pass on the foxhole and Fred doesn’t sound like he’d be very good company.

    I guess my pshychological profile must be pretty spot on if you can pick up those things about me from my writing.

    I find the prospect interesting that just from words we can determine character – I guess that’s what determines some of the blogs each of us follow – because we can pick what type of person these people are from the things they write 🙂

    Reply
    1. Tinman Post author

      Fred might have a fund of excellent stories with which to while away the long boring hours when we weren’t getting shot at, Fi.

      As regards the blogs we follow I think we get to know people from their writing. I believe that people whose blogs we like will normally turn out to be people we like.

      I’ve met four of the bloggers who comment here and whose blogs I read and it’s certainly true in all of those cases.

      Reply
  3. Elaine

    Fred from next door could be useful … he might be a super hero masquerading as ‘the man next door’. Perhaps the Bible he has in his top pocket is actually some kind of sophisticated transporter and he would have you out of the foxhole in a jiffy. Or perhaps it’s his power pack and he can transform into the most powerful being on the planet and blast the enemy into submission/smithereens.

    Reply
    1. Tinman Post author

      If my next door neighbour’s a superhero, Elaine, all I can say is that he has a far better disguise than Clark Kent has.

      Reply

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