WordPress asks which person, real or fictional, would I like to be stuck in a foxhole on a battlefield with.
“Foxhole” is one of the euphemisms that generals, safe in their headquarters, come up with to make war seem less hideous. “Collateral damage” sounds as if the building next door to your target has had its windows broken, rather than having everyone in it vapourised, and being shot by “friendly fire” sounds much more chummy and cosy than “being killed by your own side because the generals (still safe in their headquarters) are clueless morons”.
“Foxhole” sounds like something out of Brer Rabbit, whereas “a tiny dent in the earth which covers about half of you from the enemy’s view and in any case isn’t worth a shite if something shell-shaped drops in from above” sounds a bit dangerous.
Anyway, back to the question, which I know I should scornfully ignore, but I’m fascinated by the fact that they give you the option of choosing anyone “real or fictional”.
I’m wondering just how many people would pick Fred from next door over, say, Superman, who you could hide behind while the bullets simply bounced off him.
Harry Potter could weave a protective spell. Captain Picard could arrange for a force-field to be erected around the foxhole. Doctor Who could leave you in the same place but in a different time, one where there wasn’t a battle going on.
Super-fast Builder Man could turn up at the appointed time and rapidly construct a bunker for the quoted price without once stopping for a mug of tea (they did say we could use fictional characters).
All Fred has is a Bible in his breast pocket that will probably stop a bullet and save his life. It’s unlikely that he’ll lend it to you.
They say strong fences make good neighbours. Hopefully Fred will bring the fence with him.