WordPress’s topic is “Try to Think about Nothing: What Happens?” They then suggest we describe it in a short post.
The second sentence hints that they think we won’t be able to do it, but since nothing is generally what comes to my mind whenever I am confronted by my netbook and a blank white screen, I reckoned it should be easy enough.
I gave it a go this morning. I looked at the clock on the netbook, noted that it was 7.07, and resolved to try and think of nothing until 7.12. I was determined to succeed, unlike Dan Ackroyd in Ghostbusters who was told to think of nothing and promptly thought of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.
I shook my head metaphorically (at least I hope it was metaphorically, I was on a crowded bus) and decided to try again. I found that I was listening intently to the Duran Duran song that was on my iPod, so I turned it off.
But not before I started thinking about Yasmin LeBon.
Which reminded me (I can’t think why) that I read somewhere that men think about sex every seven seconds. It took me a long time to get that out of my head, and then longer still to think about whether that sentence needs re-writing or not.
I sneaked a look at the computer clock. It was 7.09.
Looking back up at the screen I noticed how many red squiggly lines Spellcheck had applied to my post so far. It doesn’t recognise the “Puft” in Stay-Puft, which is fair enough. It recognises neither “netbook” nor” iPod”, which seems odd in a service that exists only to help you deal with technology.
It recognises neither “Yasmin” nor “LeBon”, which tells you a lot about its compiler, and I spent quite a few seconds thinking that he needs to get a life, or at least some magazines.
Most interesting of all though, is that there is a red squiggly line under Duran, but only under the second one.
This reminded me that I noticed once before that Spellcheck recognises the word “Scooby” yet not the word “Doo” and I thought for a while about the sheer daftness of that.
By that time it was 7.38, I was three stops from mine, and while I’ve utterly failed to think about nothing I have written a post that I had no idea I was going to write.
I must try to think of nothing more often.