In Order Of Preference

WordPress (yes, I’m using their suggestion two days in a row) ask us to Write a top ten list about why top ten lists are lame. They bemoan the fact that too many blog posts take the form of top ten lists, and indeed that whole websites are devoted to them, and they invite us to pour scorn upon this practice.

They do also allow that if we are feeling more positive then we might “go for a top ten list of why top ten lists are awesome.”

Since I have never done a Top Ten List on this blog the latter would be a silly idea.

So….

My Top Ten List Of Why Top Ten Lists On A Blog Are Awesome

  • You can just name ten of whatever you’ve chosen in no particular order, no-one’s going to know you made it up.
  • Eventually someone even lazier than you will cut-and-paste your list into their blog. Someone else will then copy theirs, and so on until the stuff you made up becomes accepted as hard fact, and is even taught at school.
  • You can have fun making up lists that are actually ungradeable – Top Ten Victorian Table-Legs, for example.
  • If you mention something like an iPad in a Top Ten Pieces Of Technology list they might actually send you one. No pressure, Apple, though if I am displeased it could easily get replaced on the list by the Electric Nose-hair Trimmer. (Note to the Acme Electric Nose-hair Trimmer Company – please stop sending me stuff).
  • Nobody reads below the first five, you can say what you like after that.
  • You can just name ten of whatever you’ve chosen in no particular order, no-one’s going to know you made it up.
  • On the BBC’s website this very day they list the 50 most noted examples of Americanisms entering the English language in the UK. If the BBC can do lists then you can bet your ass they’re gonna float my boat too.
  • You can include your wife in your Top Ten List Of Beautiful Women, making her day and earning brownie points too. Until she suddenly says “hang on, why am I at Number Four?”
  • If you don’t actually number the items on the list nobody will notice that you’ve only listed nine.
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3 thoughts on “In Order Of Preference

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