Racy Tracy

Mwa’s comment on my Snow White post about the paternity issues raised by Mamma Mia (apparently there’s a position called dot, dot, dot, Mwa) has reminded me of something that bothered me even during my own childhood.


This is Jeff Tracy:

He founded International Rescue, the organisation which used the five Thunderbirds to rescue people from impossible situations all over the world, the only condition being that each situation must be one which would involve a gigantic explosion just after the rescue had taken place.

And these are his five sons (from left to right, Scott, Virgil, Alan, Gordon and John, I didn’t have to look that up):

Apart from a certain botoxicity about the forehead they don’t really look like him, do they?

But worse than that, they don’t even look like each other.

Mrs Tracy doesn’t appear in the series and you never hear her mentioned. She is the dark secret of this otherwise perfect family.

Mrs Tracy was beautiful. Jeff first met her when she was Rhapsody Angel from Captain Scarlet, and at first they were very happy. But building Tracy Island took Jeff Tracy many years, during which time Mrs Tracy lived largely on her own in an apartment in Manhattan. She wasn’t used to spending time alone and a girl has yearnings, even if she has no obvious places to feel them.

Over time the caretaker, the cable guy, the mailman, the pizza guy and a Jehovah’s Witness on his lucky day were all invited in for coffee. A certain amount of dot, dot, dot invariably followed and five times Mrs Tracy had to get Jeff absolutely hammered and drag him off to bed to hide her infidelity.

Tracy Island (with pool)

And it worked, but once Tracy Island was built she had to move there, and if she’d thought Manhattan was dull, being trapped on an island on the middle of nowhere was just too much. She eventually eloped with the pool-boy (we know they had one, the pool is where Thunderbird 1 launches from), fled back to mainland US and started a new life.

Jeff and Penelope

This may seem sad, but it all worked out for the best. Jeff found consolation with Lady Penelope (well, if he didn’t, he was an idiot), and if you feel sorry for the boys, just remember they had the coolest jobs in the world.

And Mrs Tracy has never been happier. These days she’s an exotic dancer (don’t forget she never looks any older) and calls herself The Thunder Bird, with the tag-line “The Thunder Bird’s a Goer”.

It’s her little joke to herself.


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