Trump Card

WordPress asks “Do you think Donald Trump would make a good US President?”

This is the first time they’ve gone so blatantly parochial, choosing to ignore the fact that many of their users are (a) not American, (b) don’t care, and (c) don’t know enough about Donald Trump to be able to offer an opinion.

Luckily lack of knowledge rarely stops me offering an opinion, so…..

I think Donald Trump would make an excellent President because:

  1. He has a huge black Tower named after himself. This lends him the aura of an evil overlord from something like Lord of the Rings, thus scaring the enemies of the US;
  2. He could solve Ireland’s economic woes by simply buying us, with change from his back pocket;
  3. I’d like to see Tina Fey‘s impersonation of him;
  4. He is a germophobe, so he’d pump millions into researching the cure for the common cold. And he’d have Monk as Secretary of State;
  5. He would re-introduce the Presidential wig, leading America back to the spirit of Washington and the founding fathers;
  6. You’re not serious. That’s his real hair?
  7. Ivana Trump would become FLOTUS (see, I know all the lingo), which is cool, because she doesn‘t have a US birth cert either;
  8. He owns the Miss Universe Corporation and is thus the only man on earth of whom Silvio Berlusconi is jealous;
  9. Trump is another word for fart (we let you get away with two Presidents called Bush, but we‘d just have to make jokes about that);
  10. And finally, he has Irish roots.

Actually, I have no idea whether that last one is true or not, but believe me, if he becomes President we’ll find some.

Just ask Mr Obama, from Moneygall, County Offaly.

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4 thoughts on “Trump Card

  1. Patti

    You know, I think you’ve sold me on the idea, too. Especially the black tower/evil overlord part.

    But my favorite bit is where you acknowledge that “lack of knowledge rarely stops me offering an opinion…”

    Come to think of it, that’s probably true of most people – they just don’t admit it.

    Reply

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