Area 51

One of the categories in next months Irish Blog Awards is “Best Outraged Blog Awards Post”, which they define as “Conspiracy theories, cries of corruption and calls for a million blogger march on IBA HQ”. This is my chance to tell the world the truth about the Irish Blog Awards and the dark figures behind it…..

The theme for last year’s Blog Awards was “Blogging is Dead”, because of a number of newspaper articles sniping at blogging and telling us it was finished. The evening opened with the committee carrying a coffin up onto the stage.We all laughed.

What no-one realised was that the coffin actually contained the body of a blogger who had been going to stand up and tell the room all about what a fix the Blog Awards are. I am taking up the mantle in his memory.

The Irish Blog Awards are run by the same people who run this country – the rich, the privileged, the powerful. When blogging began these people quickly realised the potential threat that we posed with our free unedited websites, denouncing corruption and cronyism, so they secretly moved to control us.

Have a look at some of the categories – ‘Best Blog of a Politician’, ‘Best Blog of a Journalist’, ‘Best Blog of a Business’. These are the people who truly run our movement – the Government, the Media, the Businessmen.

There is no category ‘Best Blog of a Blogger’.

The other categories are fixed too. The best Humour Blog is won most years by Twenty Major. Have a look at these two pictures:

Twenty bin Laden

Osama bin Major

Have you ever seen the two of them in the same room together? I think not.

And so on, category after category. Last year’s ‘Best Use of the Irish Language in a Blog’ was won by a guy who writes in Irish. I mean, what chance had the rest of us got against him?

This year they have come up with the brilliant idea of having a category for the best post denouncing them. They knew that what we nutters conspiracy theorists crave most is publicity and they knew that this would flush us out into the open. Thus, although I know that by writing this I am exposing myself to them (er, should re-write that sentence but don’t have time, they’ll be on to me by now) I cannot resist. Even now they are sitting in their offices in the Texas Blog Depository reading this, and by using my IP address, Google Maps and a Garmin Sat-nav they will be here soon. Once here they will use their deadly mind-machine to wipe all knowledge of this conspiracy from my mind. I will be the blogging equivalent of a Stepford wife.

Don’t believe me? I bet I never write about this topic again.

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3 thoughts on “Area 51

  1. Tinman Post author

    The bankers are too busy transferring all their assets into their wives names, Grannymar.

    And, you’re right, Jo, they’re a scary lot.

    Reply

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