Freddy Starr Ate My Ham, Sir

It seems that a blogger’s search for perfection is never done. I read an article on the WordPress site yesterday (no, I’m not sad, the football match on telly was really crap) which stressed the importance of post titles.

I try to make my post titles short and pithy (no, that’s not a lisp) so that I can save my creative energies, such as they are, for the posts themselves. This apparently will not do if I want a readership the size of that of the New York Times.

The article asks:

If you saw the blog post titles below, which would you want to click and read?

  1. “recipe for Last night’s soup”
  2. “My Spicy, Dare-I-Say Sultry Tortilla Soup Recipe”


  1. “Whale sharks and othr stuff”
  2. “I Swam With a Whale Shark, and It Blew My Mind”

I must point out that the random capitalisation in the first title and the spelling mistake in the third are theirs, not mine, which unlevels the playing field a little bit, and anyway not even I would have a post title as dull as “recipe for Last night’s soup.” The post-author not surprisingly reckons we’d all prefer the second one in each case, ignoring the possibility that some of us might read neither (let’s face it, the fourth title pretty much tells the whole story, you might as well change the title of Murder on the Orient Express to They ALL Did It).

Anyway, anything is worth trying once, except perhaps bagpipe-learning, lion-taming and Sultry Tortilla Soup. So I ask you, dear readers, to have a quick scan of the post titles on this page, starting from the bottom up, and let me know if you’d have been more inclined to read the posts if they’d had, instead, names like this:

  • Getting High is More Fun Than Getting a Leg Wax
  • A Cable Guy I Know Can Get You Sky Sports For A Tenner
  • Climb, Climb Up Sunshine Mountain If Ever You’re Being Chased By A Leopard
  • Don’t Run With Scissors, Especially Into A Crowded Lift
  • Doctor Who Goes There
  • And Once More The Dawning Means It’s Time To Get Up For A Pee
  • Harry Potter and the Great Fall
  • The Woman Who Lives in the House Next Door is Close To My Heart (there is no woman currently living in the house next door, which is the only reason I had to nerve to write that)
  • The Food of Love: Crushed Berlusconi Horn

Perhaps it will work, who knows? Perhaps the use of catchy titles will bring hundreds more readers here to Keira Knightly is Worth Doing Badly.

5 thoughts on “Freddy Starr Ate My Ham, Sir

  1. laughykate

    I reckon it could have been written: ‘The article asks……are you really stupid, or just mildly?’

    However I’m pleased it was written ’cause, this post made me laugh.

  2. George Marquez

    We took a swim with whale sharks tour from Cancun’s Puerto Juarez and it was AMAZING! My wife and two kids (ages 7 and 13) all had the time of our lives, it was a truly moving experience. The trip included a swim with whale sharks and a guided tour of a coral reef. We saw whale sharks, sea turtle, manta rays and thousands of brightly colored tropical fish.

    There are a lot of tour operators out there, but make absolutely sure that whichever company you choose, that they have a valid license. They should always display the number on their website! We also made sure to go with a company that had modern dual engine boast, as well as insurance boats in case of emergency. The operator we chose was:

    We were picked us up in Playa Del Carmen for only $10 extra per person, provided food and beverages and had us back at our resort by 2:45 pm. After doing a lot of research, I realized that there are many companies that pick people up in Cancun, but the tour would actually take place at Isla Holbox which is several hours away. The tours may be a little cheaper but it definitely made more sense to take this tour as a 1/2 day, allowing us to be able to spend the rest of the day at our beautiful resort, instead of on the road.

    Happy Travels,
    George Marquez

  3. Jo

    The only thing that gets me blog readers is the pictures I lift off google images. That is all. And I figure they just yoink the pictures and don’t even read the words. Cos that’s mostly what I do…

  4. Tinman Post author

    Well, I’m the same, Jo. For my 99th post I wrote one called “Stuck on 99” in which I mentioned that I loved Agent 99 in Get Smart when I was a kid. Every week since then I’ve got hits on that post, and if you type Agent 99 into Google Images I’m on the first row.


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