Double Meanings

At lunchtime in the kitchen at work yesterday my friend GoldenEyes was reading through the collection of gossip, celebrity slagging and rabid readers’ letters that passes for a free “newspaper” in our city.

“It says here”, she said, “that Enrique Iglesias couldn’t get laid when he was younger”.

“Been there,” I said with feeling, “or rather haven’t been, if you know what I mean”.

“It also says,” she continued, ignoring my plea for sympathy, “that he markets a range of Extra Small Condoms”.

I thought this was very brave of him. Perhaps he wants to make people who aren’t very tall feel better about themselves, since maybe he’s not too tall himself. I decided to ask was this so.

And that’s what I should have asked. “Is he not very tall?”, I should have said. But I didn’t.

“Why, is he very short?” is what I actually said.

That was pretty well the end of that conversation.

(There was one originally one more sentence to this post. Grannymar commented last time that you would all sit there taking bets about what my next topic would be. Therefore the post ended “bet you didn’t see that coming”, but when I saw what I’d written I had to go for a bit of a lie-down in a quiet room).

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3 thoughts on “Double Meanings

  1. Rummuser

    Tinman, I come to your blog from a great admirer of yours. We recently had a conversation that went like this.

    My friend talking about an angina attack,
    I am usually like a limp lettuce for a day but fine after that
    I know to stay quiet and behave myself

    Me
    When I was in the mainline textiles business, we had a line in interlinings
    You know for collars, sleeves etc

    Friend
    20:51
    I know it well

    Me
    20:51
    there were two varieties, stiff and soft

    Friend
    20:52
    I have used both

    Me
    20:52
    the first time I had an Italian customer come over to India to negotiate a big order with us he said, so many meters of stiff and so many meters of limp
    My product manager went pink!

    Reply
  2. tinman18 Post author

    Glad you liked it Grannymar.

    And Rummuser, welcome to the madhouse. A firm stiff handshake of welcome, in fact.

    Reply

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