Among the numerous mental health issues afflicting me at the moment is my disturbed sleep. I go to sleep more or less straight away, but wake many times during the night and finally wake and stay awake really early. This is not because I’m one of those people who doesn’t need a lot of sleep because if it was I wouldn’t keep falling asleep while watching football and wouldn’t feel so feckin’ tired all the time.
I usually sleep facing my alarm clock, so when I do wake I know what time it is, and last night I woke at midnight, one minute to one, one minute to two, three o’clock, one minute past four, five o’clock and two minutes past six.
Even my sleep disorder is becoming anal. I’m waking more or less every hour, on the hour, like a human Big Ben.
So I’m not just cuckoo. I’m a cuckoo clock.