Behind the Mask

Some thoughts, not so much about swine flu, but more about the mask pandemic which is sweeping Mexico and may soon take over the world…

1. Why aren’t pigs wearing the masks?

swine-flu-masks2. If you decide to cheer yourself up by decorating your mask, do you wear a second mask while you are doing so, or do you draw on it while it’s on your face using a mirror?

3. If, while travelling on public transport, you suddenly and snottily sneeze all over the inside of your mask, is it permissible to remove it, or do you have to sit in slowly-congealing discomfort until the end of your journey?

4. How did everyone get the masks so quickly? Is there a company which has been stock-piling them ever since SARS, quietly reassuring its bank manager “no, no sales this month either, but don’t worry, our day will come”? Is it the same company that has massive stocks of US flags in Middle East countries, patiently waiting for the next time people suddenly feel the urge to burn one?

I’m sorry, sometimes I have a low boredom threshold at work.

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