In the Kingdom of the Blind, the One-eyed man has to do a lot of helping people across the street.
I felt sorry for myself because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet… and I took his shoes.
All good things come to he who waits. Unless he’s at a bus-stop at 4am.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll catch all your fish.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls – just answer the door yourself.
Blood is thicker than water, but so is yogurt, so what’s your point?
Genius is one percent inspiration, and 99 percent perspiration. And five percent Googling.
The face that launched a thousand ships must be fairly bruised by now.
It is more blessed to give than to receive, but let’s face it, the receiver gets the better of the deal.
The pen is mightier than the sword, but only in Sudoku. Never test this saying in an actual fight.
Pride goeth before a fall. Or sometimes, it’s eleven pints.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or just makes you forget about her altogether.
Sometimes when God closes a door, he opens a window. Which just proves that God farts too.