The Boys Are Back In Town

A quick update on the three young election hopefuls I wrote about last week…

Wayne Flanagan Tobin, he of the Debs Dance photo, was standing as an Independent, so was always up against it. Still, he did get over 500 first preference votes.

Stephen Stokes, son of Mrs Tin’s friend, was elected onto Greystones Town Council. 

And so too was the youthful looking James O’Sullivan. I’m afraid I may have insulted him enormously last week when I said that he is 25. In fact he is only 20. I know I wouldn’t be impressed if someone overestimated my age by 25 per cent, since that would make me 63. To James 25 must seem ancient.

When I was going to work this morning I noticed that overnight some of his posters – those in the most prominent places – had a white sticker stuck onto them saying “Thank You!”.

I think this kid is going to go far.

Judgement Day

Hasta la vista, babies

Today we get a chance to make a statement about the way our country is being run.

The elections are for seats on Local Authorities and in the European Parliament, and the Government have said that we should focus on local and european issues, and on the job being done in those areas, when deciding how to vote. In other words, don’t turn this into a referendum on how the Government is performing at national level.

There is a certain amount of merit in this argument. Many local Fianna Fail councillors do indeed do an excellent job, and it will be unfortunate for them if they lose their seats because of the perceived incompetence of central government.

Then again, many national seats are won and lost on the basis of local issues, such as local hospital closures. And when a national party is doing well many local members are swept into local council seats despite having no ability whatsoever. So don’t feel too sorry for them.

And besides, a ballot paper lacks nuance as a means of voicing your opinion. There is no space on it to say “this government was run by a crook for too long before he made way for an idiot whose budgets helped bankrupt us, and whose idea of how to deal with the problem is to shout louder, and blame an opposition who haven’t been anywhere near power for 12 years, and to bluster that we’re to stop saying that things are bad, because “loose talk costs jobs”, whereas in reality having no money to spend is what costs jobs, and whose two closest henchpeople are a Sarah Palin actalike and a Finance Minister with no previous financial experience who would mortgage our childrens’ future rather than let the corruptly-run Anglo Irish Bank close down, and one of its TDs did a deal where the Religious Orders who mistreated children for half-a-century will pay €127 million in compensation and we’ll pay the rest, currently reckoned at €1.3 billion, and they’ve stopped grants for school books for poor schoolchildren and language classes for immigrants, medical cards by right for over-75s, and dole for people under 19, and they stopped the Christmas bonus week for welfare recipients, though they’ve re-instated some of that because, well, there’s an election on, and who keep saying that they’re reforming the ridiculous benefits and entitlements of TDs, but when ever it’s examined closely it turns out that they mean not just yet, and who are clueless and out-of-touch with popular opinion and have been sheltered too long from the real world, and make no mistake I really, really want them out, but (pause for breath) having said all that their local council representative Mary McGee is a fine upstanding woman who got us a traffic light near the school and opposed the placement of traveller families in the town, so when Mary asked for my vote yes I said yes I will yes.”

All you can do is vote against the local person. Because unless the government lose a bucketful of seats this weekend, the message won’t sink in about how angry we really are (already there’s talk from them about our anger having “bottomed out”).

In desperation the government parties have suggested that the others would do no better. And again they may be right. But when a football team is doing badly the board don’t keep the manager on the basis that they can’t offhand think of anyone who’ll do better. If I do my job badly my boss is unlikely to take this attitude.

The thing is, we don’t know that they won’t do any better. Sometimes it’s as simple as replying “yes, but they could they do any worse”.

Democracy is like a great choir. You do have a voice, though it’s not specifically audible, and seems to make little difference. But it merges with other voices of a similar pitch and forms a mighty and moving sound.

Go out and vote.

Boy Zone

These three are among the many candidates standing in tomorrow’s election around my way.

The first guy is called James O’Sullivan and, although he is apparently 25, he looks about 9.  Rather endearingly, on his website he states that he is keeping his use of posters to “the bear minimum”.

I look at Wayne Flanagan Tobin’s poster and I can’t escape the feeling that it was taken at his Debs Dance, and that this was not that long ago.

It’s Stephen Stokes’ poster that freaks me out most, even though he doesn’t look as young as the other two. The reason is that his mother is a friend of Mrs Tin, and his younger brother used to play with the Tinkids.

When the country is being run by the children of your friends, it’s a sure sign that you’re getting old.

And these aren’t the only ones. In every area of the country you see can posters with bright young faces on them, including a large number of quite stunning looking girls.

I think it’s great. You’d think that the young might be quite cynical about politics, and stay away from active participation and indeed possibly from voting, but more and more of them seem eager to get involved.

And considering the mess that my generation have made of the country, let’s have some fresh thinking.

I wish them all the best.

The Sun Still Has Its Hat On

To paraphrase a well-known quotation: “for crap men to triumph it is only necessary for the sun to keep shining”.

Because if Ireland got the weather that we’ve had for the last four days all the time, things would be very different. Blogging would die out, we would all be much thinner and the government would probably not lose a million seats in the local elections next Friday.

It has taken all of my willpower to actually pick up my laptop and turn it on. I have a couple of things I’d like to write about, but really can’t be bothered. In desperation I’ve brought it outside, and am squinting at the screen as I type. If the weather was always like this the Irish would abandon the internet altogether.

As for food … it’s seven in the evening, and I’ve eaten once today. I feel vaguely hungry, but eating would involve making something, and that would involve going indoors. Another week of this and I’d lose about a stone.

And then there’s the state of the country. I reckon that not enough research was done last year into what part the unrelentingly shit summer played in the defeat of the Lisbon Treaty. Yes, we had watched our leader resign in disgrace, and yes, we were just starting to realise that the boom days were gone for good, but we were also permanently cold and wet. As a result it was a thoroughly miserable electorate that trudged into the polling booths, and our No vote was a rebuke, not just to the EU and our own government, but also to the Met Office.

But today, though the banks’ admitted losses that we have to cover get bigger by the day, though the government is in trouble again over its deal with the clergy, though it’s reported that the hapless Brian Lenihan’s proposed property tax won’t work, well, we’re not quite as angry as we would normally be. “Ah, sure, they’re going their best”, we find ourselves thinking. If the weather held we might be less inclined to vote against them, and indeed might not be arsed getting up off our deckchairs to vote at all. In that scenario, since there is a hard core of Fianna Fail support that would vote for them even if they put unpotty-trained chimps up as candidates (I know, but it’s too easy), it’s possible that they would actually end up with all of the votes, and get 100% of the seats.

Unfortunately for them, though, the weather is to break soon, and by Friday it’s to be raining again.

They’re screwed.

In Need of Councilling

Fianna Fáil town councillors have received a letter from Minister for Transport Noel Dempsey asking them to provide party headquarters with reasons why they should be nominated to run again in next year’s local elections.” Irish Times, 9th August.

To:Mr Noel Dempsey, Minister for Transport

From: Tinman Eighteen, Town Councillor

Dear Noel,

I was surprised and slightly hurt to receive your letter asking me to outline why I should be nominated to continue to represent the 430 residents of Kullinaskilly, as I have done for the last 11 years. Putting aside my personal feelings for the sake of the Party (as I have always done – look at how I withdraw my name at each General Election so that your blow-in gobshite from the next town can have a free run at the Dáil), I hereby set out my credentials.

1. My father was a Town Councillor here. As was his father. And his.

2. I have attended 233 funerals in the past 11 years.

3. I have appeared regularly on our local radio station defending our great former leader Bertie, making the following points on each occasion: (a) the Tribunals are a waste of money; (b) he’s giving full and frank answers, what’s their problem; (c) there’s nothing wrong with a dig-out; and (d) things were different then.

4. As you well know, Kullinaskilly is famous for its Wishing Stone, a large boulder in a field which is believed to grant wishes if it is hugged tightly. I was responsible for obtaining planning permission for the Wishing Stone Interpretative Centre which was built just half-a-mile from the Stone at a keen cost of just €45 million by my cousin (also a dedicated FF member).

5. I have made sure my name is kept in the public eye, as one of my election posters is still on an ESB pole at the south entrance to the town, more than three full years since the last election.

6. I have travelled widely on fact-finding missions on behalf of my constituents, and am now an authority on, among other things, the construction of nuclear power-stations (Hamburg, October 2006), the control of traffic in larger cities (New York, December 2004), the conservation of water in a time of drought (Melbourne, January 2007) and the maintenance of municipal golf-courses (Algarve, May 2008). None of my expertise in any of these matters has yet been used by the people of Kullinaskilly, so it would seem foolish to remove me now and potentially have all this knowledge go to waste whenever it is needed.

7. I fully supported the party line on the Lisbon Treaty Referendum. I was regrettably unable to canvass door-to-door (the proper irrigation of paddy-fields, Hong Kong, June 2008), but I told constituents who asked my opinion (both of them) that it was a good thing, and have no doubt that my efforts contributed to the resounding Yes vote which I’m sure the country delivered.

8. I was instrumental in twinning Kullinaskilly with Lanzarote in the Canary Islands, which means that I have to visit there on a courtesy call for one week each February.

9. I obtained Lottery funding for a new field and clubhouse for our local GAA Club, Kullinaskilly Plunketts. The amount of one-off housing and ribbon development on the outskirts of the town (another proud achievement of mine) meant that unfortunately the only field available was Wishing Stone Field, and the Stone itself had to be removed as it was slap bang in the middle of the small parallelogram. Luckily, since all the road signs lead to the Interpretative Centre rather than the Stone itself, none of the tourists have noticed yet.

I’m confident that this brief summary of my achievements will be sufficient to convince you to continue to allow me serve my constituents as they deserve. I am equally confident that, once selected, I will be too busy to give media interviews where I might be asked questions about how our local TD got permission for a 12-bedroom spanish-type bungalow, how our Cumann president got off his drink-driving charge or why there are only 42 TV licences in a town with 295 houses.

Yours in Fianna Fáil

Tinman “The Fixer” Eighteen.

Thanks Guys

First morning of the Park and Ride.

It’s bucketing rain, so I had a long walk under an umbrella.

Oh, and I missed my train, because the Council’s claim that the Park and Ride is a five minute walk from the station turns out to be – what’s the word I’m looking for – untrue.

Thanks George Jones. Thanks Kathleen Kelleher. Thanks all you councillors who put the wishes of the businesses of Greystones ahead of the needs of the residents.

Hope your day is as good as mine has just started.

Pay and Display

Pay parking starts in Greystones tomorrow, on 19 roads and in three car parks. The Wicklow County Council website has this to say:

In growing towns such as Greystones long term parking within the Town Centre reduces the amount of short term parking and impacts upon the vibrancy and function of the town. Problems with illegal / inappropriate parking reduce accessibility for pedestrians, bus users & the mobility impaired and interfere with traffic circulation. In addition formal loading facilities are required for businesses to operate efficiently.

They go on to point out that the 462-space Park and Ride facility is still there for “commuters and those who do not wish to pay to park”.

All sounds reasonable. But the town centre already has restrictions in the length of time in which you can park there. So just enforce them. The ridiculous reference to illegal parking has nothing to do with paid parking – if someone is parked illegally, tow them away.

The ill-conceived Park and Ride has been available for many years, and the council has made repeated attempts to force commuters to use it. These have largely failed, firstly because it is over a quarter-of-a-mile from the station, and secondly because it is not visible from the road, and so cars parked there are open to vandalism and theft. It is a graffiti-covered eyesore, spotted with little mats of car-glass where previous users have suffered. On the website it says “Upgrades to the Park and Ride are ongoing with improvements to the Lighting and CCTV planned before the end of 2008“. Why go ahead until they are in place?

Two of the affected car parks are nowhere near the main street. One is at the back of the train station, and even has a gate which leads directly into the station. This has been used by commuters for many, many years without causing any problems to local business. Why attack the people of the town in this way?

The third car park, the South Beach Car Park – right beside the Park and Ride, was the subject of restricted parking in any case, as people were parking there simply because it was more visible and therefore safer. At the time the restrictions were introduced I remember a councillor speaking of how unfair it would be that a mother with young children would have to walk a great distance to access the beach if other people filled the car park. Apparently this apocryphal mother’s problems are no longer as distressing. The Council have taken away all access to the North Beach, now we’ve to pay to use the South Beach. They may as well move the whole town inland.

Anyway, it’s being brought in to increase the supply of short-term parking. But will it? Residents are allowed to apply for up to four parking permits per dwelling. Seriously? They live within walking distance of a station and a bus stop and they can park four cars on the street as well?

And, even more annoyingly, the businesses can apply for two permits each as well. If long term parking is a problem, then surely the businesses themselves should be leading the way in using the Park and Ride? Apparently not. On Greystones Chamber’s website, in which they say “Greystones Chamber fully supports the concept of a Pay Parking scheme for the Town” - well, they would, wouldn’t they? – it reports that they made the following submission:

Business Parking Permits
Under the current draft bye laws published by Wicklow County Council an anomaly exists where by a business owner located away from the Park and Ride Car Park could be forced to pay as much as €1300 per annum to park his/her car. This facility is free at present. Greystones Chamber proposes that parking permits would be issued to businesses remote from the park and ride facility. These permits would be for use in the Trafalgar Road Car Park and the La Touche Road Car Park only and two should be issued to each affected business. These permits would be valid for businesses located east and north of Church Road only. Greystones Chamber feels that Business owners should not be discriminated against and should be treated on par with local residents especially as they bring both employment to the town and are paying rates to the local Authority.

And that’s exactly what happened. Note that they feel they “shouldn’t be discriminated against”. The problem of short-term parking doesn’t seem to matter to them when it comes to their right to park.

No, the people being discriminated against are those unfortunate enough to live in inland Greystones, who want to use public transport rather than contribute to the traffic problems of both our own county and the neighbouring one.

And of course it was our wonderful public “servants” who voted all this in. It was proposed by George Jones, seconded by Kathleen Kelleher, and passed unanimously. Do you feel they were representing the best interests of all the citizens of Greystones, because I certainly don’t.

To paraphrase Thumper’s mother: “if you can’t change something for the better, don’t change it at all.”

Sit, Fido

From the Indo:

“DUBLIN City Council is to allow some of its tenants to keep so-called “dangerous” breeds of dogs, provided they are spayed and micro-chipped. The ban on some dogs including pitbull terriers, bull mastiffs, dobermans and English bull terriers was introduced following a number of attacks.

“In respect of the 10 restricted breeds of dog, we acknowledge that a number of our tenants are responsible dog owners and have built up a relationship with one of these breeds and would, understandably, be upset if they had to give their dog away or have it put down,” Vincent Healy from the council’s housing and residential services said.

Mother. Of. God. In the first place, you cannot be a responsible dog owner if you own a pitbull terrier in a local authority housing area. Too little space, too many children, it’s not fair to the dog (though who cares) or to the other tenants. It’s a disaster waiting to happen, followed by a load of cries of “well, he’s never behaved like that before.” Rights of vicious dogs and their anti-social owners versus the rights of children. There shouln’t even be a contest.

Secondly, the type of arseholes who own pitbull terriers do not “build a relationship” with the dogs. They are there purely to augment the veneer of menace that these thugs like to portray. To believe otherwise is bullshit.

And thirdly, and most importantly, they will have to be speyed. In other words, you can only keep one of these beasts – a potentially lethal half-ton of muscle and teeth – if you’ve had its balls cut off.

Well that should improve his mood.