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Inkslingers snake pictureThe Inkslingers Creative Writing Workshop at the Irish Writers Centre resumed after Christmas yesterday. We were given three pictures to use as possible prompts, and I chose the one on the right… 

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For 2013 I’m going to spice up my act.

I do magic shows, pulling rabbits from hats, sawing my assisitant in half, guessing what card an audience member is holding (I always get it wrong, of course, the odds against me getting it right are huge, but I’ll say “four of clubs”, they’ll sneeringly say “no, nine of spades”, and at the end of my act I’ll produce the nine of spades from inside a babushka doll, I have 52 of them in a box just off-stage).

I also do kids’ parties, where I perform the truly amazing feat of not punching any of the brats in the face, and I also make balloon animals, twisting balloons into the shape of a poodle (or fox, or hyena, or Bambi-on-the-ice, to be honest they could be absolutely anything).

But none of this will make me as famous as David Copperfield, not even the magician one, so I’ve decided that instead of bending balloons into the shape of animals I’m going to bend animals themselves.

I’ve decided to start with snakes, because they are the most pliant, in shape if not in temperament. The picture I have on my website shows my python, Monty, as a bow-tie. I have also turned him into a string of spaghetti (well, to be honest he did that one himself), the lower-case letter “g”, and what your Christmas lights look like after you take them down from the attic.

I hope to move on to other animals. My ultimate goal is, by tying an elephant’s trunk to its tail, to make it into the shape of a piggy-bank.

My only problem will be transporting it around. I may have to take some of the rabbits out of my hat to make room.

  

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