Big Brother Blog (4)

Jesus.

Friday’s & Saturday’s programmes were just astonishing.

At the start of the Friday show Davina told us Dennis has been kicked out for unacceptable behaviour, so one would be expecting something bad, but I just gasped aloud when Dennis spat so suddenly into Mohammad’s face. One of the most amazing things was that only Darnelle and Mario seemed to appreciate just how serious it was, and that there was absolutely no way in which he could survive. The others felt he had been unfairly treated in some way. God, guys, even in football you can kick someone, trip someone, even headbutt someone, and while you’ll be sent off you won’t lose the respect of other players, but to spit at an opponent will still bring the wrath of the entire opposition, the crowd and the media down upon you. He simply had to go, especially since Alex had already gone for brainless threats that no-one really took seriously.   

As for the row that started it all, well, Rex really is a fish out of water in there. His posh accent, education and constant references to his successful restaurant business would alienate him from the others in any event, but it doesn’t help either that he has zero social skills. He come across as bossy and arrogant, and he has an unfortunate smirk on his face at all times. He kept this smirk on while he was apologising to Jen for smudging her painting (remember, he wouldn’t have done that to a Monet), and this made his apology look false. For someone so allegedly well-bred it was a pretty badly worded apology, too.

Still, he apologised, & it would all have died down at it not been for the Beef-cake Boys competing to see which on them could be Jen’s knight in shining armour. each of them blundered in, each of them made it worse, and then Dale ordered Rex out of the room, well, no bloke would take that. Then the eyeballing started, the “will you make me?”s started and then almost everyone got involved. Mohammad by now is completely paranoid since whatever he does in the house these days some-one seems to find fault with him. He jumped in to defend Rex, the only one who still seems to like him, and Dennis, who had already had his problems with Mo, just let rip. The sight of poor Kat crying through the whole thing was quite distressing.

Mario did a great job (he does grow on you) in calming down the lads, while in the other room all the girls (including Luke) just kept fanning the flames. The following morning, after Dennis went, Jen burst out that she hoped justice was done, and that Mo would be evicted by the public that night. Then she gave out to Darnelle for criticizing them all for defending Dennis. Again, the silly girl doesn’t see that spitting outdid anything that had ever been in the house before, ever.

Anyway, needless to say, Mo stayed, because the public don’t see anything wrong with him at all, and Jen’s mate Sylvia went with 90 per cent of the vote.

It’s going to keep getting better and better.   

Think of the Children

I watched an “Al Murray – Pub Landlord” gig on TV the other night. At one point he talked about when his first child was born. He said he felt pride, humility “and a burning urge to hang all paedophiles whereas before I hadn’t given them a second thought.”

How right he is. Having children immediately ends one’s laissez-faire attitude to the world, and makes one more right wing than Adolf Hitler.

I reached adulthood in the early eighties, when the posturing of Reagan and Andropov made nuclear war seem more probable than possible. I remember a friend of mine pointing to the top of her forehead and saying “I hope the bomb lands right here” and us all agreeing with her. We didn’t mind dying, we just didn’t want the radiation.

All that as changed now that we have become parents. I hate warmongers with a passion. I hate people whose greed, lust for power or mistaken religious beliefs might endanger my children.

Where once I tolerated dope smoking, I how hate all drug takers and sellers, as they might lead my children down that path.

In fact, I now hate: paedophiles, drug dealers, vandals, people who can’t handle their drink, drunk drivers, speeding drivers, motor bikers, smokers, bullies (whether bullied themselves or not), racists (my daughter has a little black friend and the idea that anyone would insult this child is sickening), people who think the laws about fireworks don’t apply to them, any eejit who’d buy a quad bike for their kids, laser pens, several species of dog-owner (people who let their dogs shit in the street, people who let their dogs bark at or run at people, people who own ridiculous breeds of dogs like rotweilers), Arsenal (nothing to do with my kids, just don’t like them), middle class gits who take soft drugs, SUV drivers (not because of the environment, because SUVs are killing machines), bad teachers, people who obtain drink for children, anyone who says people who commit random acts of violence deserves a second chance, and the makers of South Park.

In short, everybody.

Sky is the Limit

Every single programme that Sky makes itself is absolute crap.

“Tonight at nine – Britain’s Toughest Playschools…”

“Yo, dude – on the naughty step, now, you Mother”

Bloody Hell

Train Pain

People who eat rice cakes on a crowded train should be nailed to the front of said train.

In a warm environment the smell of rice cakes is akin to the smell of one’s wee if one had eaten nothing but popcorn for five days.